Saturday, March 19, 2005
Cranky Pants
You know... TLC just pisses me off. I watch those shows like While You Were Out and Trading Spaces and In A Fix and it really just pisses me right off. I want to buy a house. A house in which I can do whatever I want to the walls and floors and ceilings. We rent, which means every single wall is white (with the exception of the downstairs bathroom which is blue... with about 1/2 of the room covered in flowered wallpaper). Though the berber carpeting in the living room (and downstairs bath) is pretty nice (it's primarily blue with specks of every other color... it's not as ugly as it sounds) it is about 12 years old. Then there's the carpeting on the stairs and our bedroom. It's green. Not just green, but neon-ish pea soup green from the 70's. It's hot. And the carpeting in The Kid's room? That dirty pukey yellow, also from the 70's (the same color as our stove and kitchen wall tile). Even hotter. I can just imagine all the little germies hiding in that carpet if it's been here for 30 years. We've made the best of it so far. The walls are plastered with pictures, we have area rugs everywhere, plants to liven the place up, decorative items on every available surface (but not in that foo-foo, makes a person want to gag kind of way) and nice furniture. I've done my best to make the place look home-y and welcoming but I just don't know how much longer I can stand it. I hate this house. It's ugly and boring and I have to get out. I need colors. Lots of colors! Colors with ridiculous names. We've been talking about moving since last summer but we have decided to move this spring or summer for sure. I'll go alone if I have to. I hate the layout of this house. I hate that just beyond our backyard is an apartment complex (hell, every house in the town is back to back with an apartment complex). I hate that it's located on a main route. And I especially hate that I'm an hour away from everyone I know. We're planning on moving toward the halfway point between my hometown and here. Problem is, the halfway point is overpopulated, which I don't want. And the schools suck ass, which I really don't want. I want to live somewhere that when my daughter's older she can go out with her friends and I won't be hyperventilating the while time she's gone. And somewhere she can go outside and play without me hovering over her the whole time because I fear that there's some weirdo around the corner that's going to try to lure her into his car. I know that these things can potentially happen anywhere, but there are just some places that are better than others and anything I can do to lower the risks, I will do. Even in this town, which has a pretty damn low crime rate, stuff happens. A couple of days ago the school sent home a paper saying that they had a "precautionary lockdown" because "there was a report of someone in the area". Someone in the area? What kind of someone?! Who reported this someone? How did they know this someone was not supposed there? And just how big an area are we talking here? A letter that was a little less vague would have been great. You would think that they would want to pass along all the details so we could be on the look out at home as well. Not some ambiguous ass, just the basics, piece of crap letter. I'm getting away from the point of this post, but I guess I just realized that it's not just the house itself that is bothering me here. It's everything, from the traffic situation, the rude people and our stupid mail person who NEVER closes the damn mailbox (this is especially annoying when it's snowing because the mail become a giant wad of ice). I can actually see the contents of our mailbox from here (she just came). Looks like we got one of those So-And-So-Is-Having-A-Sale papers and a letter. To the neighbor's huge frickin' dog that always gets loose, the bugs that I've never even seen before (and the animals that I've never wanted to see... like the skunk that was wandering around our front yard), and the lack of landscaping around here (or more specifically, the amount of cement, stone and unkempt lawns). Right down to our ugly carpeting. It all just makes me crazy and irritable. Ugh. I'm going to go clean and/or rearrange something.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Just Call Me Limpy McGimp
Thanks to yesterday's getting stuck in the driveway, my left leg below the knee is killing me. Remember all the rocking I mentioned? Well in order to rock, I had to work the clutch like a madwoman. I got a 20 minute 1 leg work out. So now my calf and especially my shin are being total bitches. Ok, ok, so it's not that bad. But what can I say? I'm a whiner.
What the hell? Shin splints from (not even really) driving? Yeah, I am in GREAT shape.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
What The Hell?
I just had an interesting interaction (it wasn't really a conversation) with my daughter. The past couple of weeks she has been not very into taking her nightly bath or shower. Her excuse? "But I took one yesterday!" Ummm... when did this become a valid excuse not to bathe? And just where did she learn this 'every other day' logic? Ew.
Another Girly Post BUT There's Also Something For The Guys!
Excuse the girly-ness again, but I just found THIS "recipe" on how to make room fresheners using unflavored gelatin as the base. From what I gather all you have to do is make some jello and add candle fragrance. You don't even have to burn it. Just open the container you put it in and it smells up the whole room. I think I just might have to pick up some gelatin today when I'm out. I wonder if using flavored gelatin and adding fragrance would work. The only thing I wonder about is doesn't gelatin kind of "melt" when it gets warm? I'll let you know if I make them. And since I know the boys who read this are not especially excited to know about my foo-foo-ness, here's a link to a site that tells (and shows) you how to use your microwave to do stuff other than cook. Oh, and you can thank Ontario Emperor for suggesting I make girly posts more appealing to the male gender. Go visit and enjoy! :)
Monday, March 14, 2005
Hello, My Name Is Noodge And I'm A Scaredy-Cat
Why do I insist on doing this to myself? I watch stuff like Unsolved Mysteries and documentaries about serial killers and all that creepy stuff then I don't want to leave the house for the next 2 weeks. I'm watching a show about BTK and I just found myself checking to make sure the doors were locked. I think I worry about this stuff more than the average person. I expect the worst from everyone at any given time. The other day there was this guy wearing a long coat walking with his arms kind of crossed through the store. He just gave off that sinister-guy vibe and I immediately thought, "That guy looks like he's hiding a gun. Maybe I should leave. What if it turns into a hostage situation? What should I do? Shit. Ooh, that's a cute skirt!" Then promptly forgot about him. Yeah, I get side tracked easily. Anyway, am I the only one who is creeped out by about 75% of the population? Seriously, you just never know about these people. They're always "the guy (or girl) next door". Speaking of which, my parents' next door neighbor is just a little ... odd. He spent some time in a psych ward (a couple/few times actually) after claiming he was Jesus and said that God told him to drink bleach. His wife took him to the hospital and when they didn't find any bleach in him he said that of course they wouldn't find it because God prevented them from seeing it. I'm not trying to bash him or anything because he really is one of the nicest, gentlest people I know. He always says hello to me and asks how I am when I see him, always says hello to my daughter, asks my parents to let his dog out when they go away for the weekend. Hell, he held my daughter when she was only a couple days old and cuddled her like any baby-holding expert (they don't have children (something to do with his wife's health, I think) so I was surprised at how comfortable he was). But how do they always describe the serial killers? Upstanding members of the church, friendly, liked by almost everyone... stuff like that. I guess I just don't trust people in general. I'm constantly in a state of semi-panic whenever I go somewhere alone at night (even in my truck)... even when it's broad daylight I'm always thinking about what to do if I'm approached or attacked. Thank goodness I never went to college. I'd be a complete sociaphobe. I used to hang out in a college town with a group of people that went to the school and one of the girls that was an acquaintance was raped by 2 guys right around the corner from their house. Another acquaintance was "attacked" by a homeless person at a gas station while she was pumping gas. He wanted money. Luckily she was wearing a big ring and punched his hand when he grabbed her arm, causing him to let go and giving her the chance to get in her car and call the police from her cell. I used to hang out there all the time. I mean, ALL the time. I didn't even like walking the 10 feet from my truck to their door.
Man, I hate thinking like this. I would love to meet people and think, "What a nice person." without also thinking, "or are they?". I'm so judgmental of people who look even just a little off. Like, naturally. Not the ones who strive to look weird. I'm fine with them. But anyway...
I swear, I'm getting weirder by the second.
Watch Out, I'm About To Get Girly On Your Ass
Yesterday The Boyfriend and I went to Bath and Body Works because my poor mommy has pneumonia and I wanted to get her something to make her feel good even if she doesn't feel good. Well, when I got to the register I was informed that I got a free item because I bought 3 items. Woo! So I asked the girl what she suggested because the boyfriend was getting antsy (we were there for 15 minutes... that's 5 minutes longer than his time limit) and she told me about the lovely, delicious, oh-so-yummy smelling Black Raspberry Vanilla scent. Oh my gosh, you guys, I smell like a walk in the forest on a lazy summer afternoon (but not in that sweaty, pine-y, I just stepped in squirrel poop kind of way). Anyway, this stuff smells soooo good. Kind of tangy (think lemonade). I love it. I also got some White Tea and Ginger stuff because it is equally as tasty smelling and I was almost out. It's a very light, spring-y smell. Scrumptious.
Anyway, so next we went to Walmart because I wanted to get a basket and some other items to put in it for my mom. I ended up getting 2 baskets for $5 (bonus!) and some stuff like green tea and chicken noodle soup and some snacks that I know she likes but probably wouldn't buy. Anyway, we were wondering around and I spotted these flowers. OH my goodness, they were the coolest flowers I have ever seen. The middle was white and the outside was a deep, deep purple, almost like a royal blue. So I grabbed one of those and another one that had pink edges. After I got home and saw how good they looked in the basket, I decided that I really, really liked them and must have my own. So I will be going to Walmart shortly to hook myself up. If I can get out of the driveway, that is. I've mentioned that I hate driving before, but I don't know if you can understand just how much I hate driving in the winter. Especially because our driveway is stone, which means you can't shovel it for crap, and uphill... which means it's just a big ice slope by now. When you back up from your parking spot you're already halfway down the hill and it's impossible to get back up (we have one of those driveways that goes up in front of the house and back around to the road since it's a busy road and all but impossible to back out... trust me, I've been forced to do it a couple times, it sucked). And when you pull in from the road you have to gun it to get up the driveway... but not too much or you'll just slide off into the grass. Great fun. Anyway, since I hatehatehate driving in the winter, I'm not all that used to it and I'll feel like a complete idiot if I get stuck after 2 feet of driving... in my own driveway.
Anyway, back to what I was talking about before I made a short story long. While we were at the store yesterday I also bought a Majestic Palm (it's not very "majestic" right now... I mean, we did get it from Walmart for $7.00, but with a little pampering it'll be just fine.) I originally got it to put in an empty space between a chair and end table but this thing is so damn big that it covered half the chair and most of the table. Hello rainforest. Speaking of this thing being huge, I think it should have a name. I've decided that it's a boy. I think "Frank" (pronounced "Fronk", like the wedding planner in Father Of The Bride) has a nice ring to it, but I'm open to suggestions. So for the sake of Frank we're going to re-arrange the livingroom (actually, just move the fishtank so we can push the couch over and make some space on the other end of the couch). Now all I have to do it tell The Boyfriend that I've elected him to do this.
I have also decided that I need to get my ass moving on planting some seeds indoors so I can plant actual flowers outdoors when the time is right. Who wants an empty flowerbed that may or may not grow something? So I need to get some pots. And since I'm getting so in depth about what I plan on doing today, I also plan on picking up a gallon of milk, a gallon of distilled water, a new outfit for The Kid for "spring pictures" tomorrow (are spring pictures really necessary?) and a new pot for Frank. Oh, and I'm also thinking about washing the walls in the kitchen later. And I'll probably go to the bathroom a few times too. And there you have it. Now you know more about me than you ever wanted to.
Have a great day.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Check This Out!
Oh. My. Goodness. OhMyGoodness! THIS is the coolest thing ever (next to the real thing, of course). You can create your own band and play music online! I'm so addicted.
*warning - this "game" can potentially take up your whole day. :)
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Stephen King Better Watch His Ass
I guess THIS means they don't encourage creative writing classes in Kentucky.
William Poole, a high school junior from Kentucky, was taken into custody and charged with threatening to commit second-degree-felony terrorism for writing a story about a horde of zombies who wreak havoc in a school. It seems the boy's grandparents had been reading his journal, found a story he'd been writing for English class and promptly turned him in. According to a police detective, "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function, it's a felony in the state of Kentucky." Based on that kind of reasoning, a judge raised Poole's bond from $1,000 to $5,000 after prosecutors requested it, citing the seriousness of the charge.
Not only are his grandparents just a little nuts for turning this stuff in but, hello(!) have they never heard of privacy? The kid is 17 (for pete's sake) and was using his imagination (*gasp*) to write a story. The horror. And what possessed them to run directly to the school with this anyway? He was writing it for an English class. Meaning he was probably going to turn it in eventually for a grade. This kid is apparently some sort of genius. Not only does he cleverly put his threats into the form of a story, but must have also somehow created an army of flesh eating zombies to carry out the attack. Ok, everybody, all together... Run around in circles and scream because the zombies are coming to eat your brains.
I swear, people do stupid stuff solely to give other people something to blog about.
Cost of the War in Iraq
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We hang the petty thieves, but appoint the great
ones to office
- Aesop
Don't steal, the government hates competition.
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