Anomalous Noodge

That's Right, Bitch

2005-11-02T16:36:00.000-05:00

A jury returns a unanimous decision to sentence Nicole Diar to death. She is convicted of killing her 4-year-old son.

NewsChannel5 reported a Lorain County jury found her guilty of killing her son and then setting her house on fire to hide the crime.

Officials said she drugged Jacob with codeine, then strangled him as he slept in his bedroom in August 2003.

The jury found Diar guilty on all 10 charges against her, including aggravated murder, aggravated arson and tampering with evidence.

Of course, she says she's innocent. Because people are always sneaking in to houses, drugging and strangling kids, then burning the house down to cover it up? Sure. I heard on the news that first, she "had evidence" that proved she didn't do it and wanted a new trial. That was right after she was found guilty. The judge denied her ass for a new trial. Smart judge. Then when it came to the sentencing part of her trial, her lawyer was claiming that she shouldn't get the death penalty because she can be reformed. Reformed? Well, if she's innocent, no she can't. She didn't do anything, remember? But since she's obviously guilty as hell, I think she's only getting what she deserves. Maybe she can be reformed, but her little boy can't. Because she murdered him.

What the hell is wrong with people? If you don't want you kids, fine. That's all you. Talk to someone about it. Maybe a therapist or a relative or a friend or anybody! But to decide that the best way to get out of motherhood is to take the little life of a child.... a child who trusts you!? That's what gets me the most. HOW how how how could anyone do that? To their own child?

Just this morning, I saw (on the news) a man was arrested for putting his son in a cage and scalding him. The little boy died of complications in the hospital. The "father" has been arrested for abusing this child before! He's also "innocent". Of course he is. They all are.

I'm feeling sick.

OMG, Look Who's Posting!

2005-10-31T08:04:00.000-05:00

First, I would like to say that I absolutely HATE "omg". So much so that I feel the compulsive need to use it constantly. Second, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! If you know me at all, you know it's my favorite, favorite holiday. No big plans though. Just some good old family fun in the form of trick-or-treating with the kiddo. She's going as an angel. I was thinking about dressing up as a devil. I'm not actually going to, but I was thinking about it. It would be cute. I definitely want to wear something out of the norm. It's my once chance out of 365 days that I can actually wear anything I want and it's accepted. I think I'll just slather on a lot of makeup, wear my vinyl pants and call myself a rock star. I could even carry my guitar around. I'm not actually going to, but I was thinking about it. Anyway, so I haven't been up to much lately. Just taking some time off from blogging. I was trying to figure out if I wanted to keep going with this or not. Up until about yesterday I was not going to come back. There's been a serious decline of anything resembling good posts around here and I thought, get out while I was still kind of ahead. But yesterday was a good-ish day, meaning I have made some decisions about what I want to do. I filled out a couple of job applications on Thursday and even had an interview on the spot. The manager actually said he would have offered me a job on the spot, but I had to go home and take this personality quiz online. You know, one of those things where you had to choose between agree, disagree, neutral, strongly disagree, or strongly agree for questions about how you feel about things in general. And pick the best and worst responses to situations. Stuff like that. So, if I "pass" that, I guess I'll have a job. I remember the days when you could just fill out an application and have a job. Now they want you to have a complete physical, mental and emotional examination. Maybe they're trying to tell me that I must be crazy if I want to work there. Though I don't know if I'll take that job because it's for waitressing. Being a server = $2.13/hr. plus tips. Best case scenario at that rate, I would make $85.00 a week before tips and taxes (and that's for a full 40 hour week). And I know from experience that servers get to deal with a lot of shit from a lot of shitty people. Customers come in 10 minutes before closing and stay for 3 hours, just chatting and drinking and pretending that they're the only ones with a life. But if it's all I can get, I'll take it. It's better than nothing. Also, I've been looking into going to get training to be an EMT. It's something I've wanted to do for about 3 years and I have no clue what I've been waiting for. I already know some of the basics from being a lifeguard (CPR, rescue breathing, spinals, head and neck injuries, diseases, etc.). Should be relatively easy for me. Besides, I think I learn pretty quick. Then eventually, I can go to be a paramedic, maybe even a nurse. Who knows. The only problem I'm having is that the school website isn't giving me any information about classes. I don't know if they're just not offering the class right now or what. Most of the other classes have schedules and prices. This has nothing. So I'm going to have to call them. I hate calling! I would much rather deal with people in person. Anyway, so things seem to be looking up. Which is good. So, I'm excited. Also good. Good, good, good. And it's amazing how you start to think you're spelling the word "good" wrong after you type it so many times.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Days?

2005-10-13T15:07:00.000-04:00

For the last couple days I have had the name Leather Tuscadero (slap leg twice here) stuck in my head. Along with the movie Little Darlings (which, I was surprised to find out, is as old as I am). I don't know where either of these things came from, but what is the connection? I checked the movie info and Suzie Quatro (Leather Tuscadero) wasn't mentioned. Maybe one of the girls from the movie reminded me of her (or she reminded me of one of the girls). Or was her name mentioned in the movie? It's driving me crazy!

Don't Bite Eat The Hand That Feeds You

2005-10-12T08:27:00.000-04:00

At first I couldn't help but giggle a little over THIS story, but after thinking about it, it's a little upsetting. A man from Beijing was actually eaten by his own farm animals. And the animals? They were black bears! What the hell did he expect? Sure, they look all cute and fuzzy on the Discovery channel, but this guy had to know that they're ferocious carnivores. I mean, come on! Apparently bear farming isn't all that unusual in China and the reason why is so gross. The farmers surgically implant a catheter in the bear's gall bladder to extract bile. Or , if they want to be real jerks about it, they just open a hole in the bear's abdomen and let it drip out. But BILE?! Ewww!

More than 200 farms in China keep about 7000 bears to tap their bile, which traditional Chinese medicine holds can cure fever, liver illness and sore eyes.

Bear farming was far more widespread before the cruelty involved came to light and Beijing introduced regulations to control the industry in 1993.

Animal welfare groups have called on China to completely ban bear farming, arguing that traditional herbal medicines can serve the same purposes as bear bile.

If I had a fever, I sure as hell wouldn't be sipping on some bear bile to feel better. A couple aspirin maybe, but certainly not liver secretions. And speaking of which, what about the bears?! According to Dictionary.com, bile "aids in the emulsification, digestion, and absorption of fats". So... the bears don't get to use their own bile, but humans do? Or do humans get some sort of recycled stuff (is that possible?) or what? That's why this is upsetting to me, by the way. I'm not upset about the man because he knew the risks and he's a douche for farming the bears in the first place. But the bears didn't really have a choice.

I understand that some people want to stick to their traditional ways and all that, but if herbal remedies can take the place of animal cruelty, why not use them? Herbs are traditional. Leaves and twigs and grasses and bark and plants and berries have been used in medicine for-ev-er!

Some people just don't make sense to me.

Hey Look, A Quiz

2005-10-11T09:23:00.000-04:00

I'm a Talent!

You're a risk-taker, and you follow your passions. You're determined to take on the world and succeed on your own terms. Whether in the arts, science, engineering, business, or politics, you fearlessly express your own vision of the world. You're not afraid of a fight, and you're not afraid to bet your future on your own abilities. If you find a job boring or stifling, you're already preparing your resume. You believe in doing what you love, and you're not willing to settle for an ordinary life.

Talent: 63%
Lifer: 52%
Mandarin: 22%

Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz.

Yeah, sure.

Warning : Content Contains 75% Whining and 25% Feeling Sorry For Myself

2005-10-04T23:17:00.000-04:00

Things are getting so predictable around here. Sometimes it seems like my whole day is scheduled down to the minute. It's not, really. Still, I'm getting really antsy. It's like I want to do something meaningful but if I do something meaningful just to have something meaningful, does that make it meaningless? It's so bad that every time I watch those "reality shows" where people compete to win some sort of contract it's like, "I wanna do that". Then I'll watch a movie where someone does something heroic and again, I'm like, "I WANT that!". Every time I see someone doing something, basically, other than what I'm doing (which is nothing) I just want to be them. I've always had big dreams... and that's as far as it went. I'm just really afraid I'll never do anything great. Not that I have to do something great to be happy. I just have to do something. I want so much it's frustrating. I'm looking for a job, I want to take ballroom dancing lessons, I want to go to school or take some kind of "career" classes (paramedic, zoologist, toxicologist, cosmotologist, firefighter, medical researcher of some sort, police officer, teacher, you name it, I've probably wanted to do it). I want to start exercising so I'll have more energy, I want to quit smoking and eat right. I want to go away for a weekend, not because I need it, but because I want to see something new. I guess I'm just in one of those What Am I Doing With My Life funks. I'm just so convinced that I'm destined to be one of those overweight housewives, sitting around wearing a pink fuzzy robe and slipper with curlers in my hair, shoving bon bon down my throat while I watch my daily soaps. I know what you're saying. Quit complaining and do something about it, right? Let me tell you, I am a world class procrastinator. I just don't know where to start and it's so much easier to not even try. And I hate that I just said that, but it's true. It seems true enough to me, anyway. Shit. Shitshitshit. And everything sucks just a little more because The Boyfriend is never home (they're going into crazy overtime with the construction because the season is winding down) and when he is home he's asleep. And he has to make time for his friends and family so I just sort of get the leftover bits (ah, the benefits of a live-in). I shouldn't be upset about it, but I kind of am. Ok, not "kind of", I just am. It's selfish, but true. And living so far away from my home town (and everyone I know or knew), the only company I have is a 7 year old and 2 cats. The Kid and I aren't exactly on the same level, you understand. I can only chat about Disney princesses and how many nickels make a quarter for so long. And obviously the cats don't make for great conversation. They only "talk" to me when they want food or attention (Yeah great, add "Crazy Cat Lady" to that list of things I'm destined to become. Now I'm talking to cats?). I'm just very... angry with everything right now (because you didn't get that picture yet, right?). I don't know. Less bitching, more problem solving. Now that's an idea.

Are You Kidding Me?!

2005-09-28T21:44:00.000-04:00

I just put my baby to bed and just really really realized that the next time I see her (awake anyway) she will be 7 years old! Seven! Goodness, wasn't I just changing diapers and pushing her in a stroller and fighting with the damn car seat and wishing she had more hair (she had none until just after she turned three, then it was kind of like how old guys who are bald on top grow the back out to over compensate) yesterday? I just can't believe it. In fact, I refuse to believe it. That's right. I refuse. Although I doubt she'll go along with it. She has already asked me when she'll be old enough to stay home alone. More than once. Why on earth would a 7ish year old even want to stay home alone? Planning a big party with all her alcoholic friends, is she? At least she isn't mentioning boys... yet. Anyway, so yeah, I'm a little bit shocked about this whole growing up thing. Why didn't anyone tell me that was going to happen?! ;)

*****

And this is completely unrelated but I have to mention it because it's been on my mind constantly since the last time I saw the commercial. Am I the only one who is so freaking pissed that a certain insurance company is using the hurricane(s) to sell their product? If you've been watching tv, you might have seen the commercial where they show some of the destruction that has been done then proceed to tell you how helpful and wonderful they were to their customers and basically, if you switch to them, you'll live happily ever after. It's bullshit. I understand that they have a product to sell, that's their job and everything, but do they really have to use other people's ruined homes and lives to sell a couple more policies?! There's absolutely no other options? They can't come up with some other scenario that would make someone consider buying their shit? Like the people who have nothing left to go back to are just going to say, "They're so wonderful! Lets switch to their company! We have nothing left to insure, but just in case! We'll be so happy! Hooray for this company!". Get real. And while you're at it, get fucking sympathetic and quit worrying about your damn commission. Ok, I'm not being fair. I can't blame the people who just work there because I'm sure they don't go around to all the sales associates and ask for ideas for commercials. I should just be mad at the people who come up with the ideas then make the ideas happen, but (to me, anyway) it makes the whole company look bad. It's hard for me to blame one or two people when these one or two people are representing the hundreds (or thousands) of people who work for them when they say "We". I don't know. Maybe I'm overreacting.

But it still pisses me off.

Ew

2005-09-22T12:05:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately I just walked into the livingroom at the wrong time and caught a glimpse of Bush giving yet another one of his "I'm Single-Handedly Saving The World" speeches and DAMN does he look haggard. I guess the stress of keeping up with his lies is finally catching up with him. You would think he'd look more rejuvenate from all those vacations he likes so much. Hm.

Duh

2005-09-21T07:13:00.000-04:00

This is so not fair! There's nothing on aaalllll week long then all of a sudden, here's Wednesday and there's 3 different things on at 8:00pm that I like to watch. America's Next Top Model season premier from 8pm - 10pm. So You Think You Can Dance from 8pm - 9pm (shut up, Artem is yummy). And Ghost Hunters from 8pm - 10pm. Ok, so 8pm - 9pm is last week's episode of GH, so I will be flipping back and forth between Top Model and SYTYCD from 8pm - 9pm, then between Top Model and Ghost Hunters from 9pm - 10pm. Or, I could be smart about it and just record Top Model upstairs and watch Dance and Ghost Hunters downstairs. Wow. I guess there' no reason to even post now, seeing as how I just had that stroke of genius. Ok, nevermind, problem solved. :)

You Can't See Me But I Am Scowling Maniacally

2005-09-18T02:47:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I totally forgot about this until just a few minutes ago. Now I'm all pissed off and need to vent. Lucky you. A little background info: Last week (Friday or Saturday, I believe) I was on the computer and the power went out for a couple seconds then came back on. I didn't really think anything of it because our power company (or the lines or something) sucks. Then on Sunday the power went out and stayed out. But only on the computer, fridge, washing machine, a/c, microwave and the coffee machine. Basically, 3/4 of the kitchen and the area directly below those 3/4 in the basement. Wonderful. So The Boyfriend went downstairs to play around with the breaker box (or fuse box? Don't ask me, I'm a girl and that's a boy job), but according to that, everything was fine. He ended up disconnecting everything then reconnecting. That made things work just great for about 3 minutes and then the kitchen shut down again. It was at this point he called to power company (and I started a pot of coffee in the bathroom). So they came out, poked around at the meter and determine that ... something-or-other needed replaced. So The Boyfriend tells the landlady's daughter who promises to pass along the message. Ok, now we're getting to the part that pissed me off. Ok, so Monday I came home from getting my hair cut and the landlady was waiting for me outside (she must have been hovering by her front window just waiting for me to pull in). She said that she called the power company and they came out and looked at the meter but they wanted to go in our basement so ... (here it comes) she tried to use her key to get in but The Boyfriend did not give her one. Did we change the locks? The landlord must have a key. Did you read that? She tried to use her key to get into my house when I was not home ... Without my permission! Then the next part about The Boyfriend not giving her a key? Wrong. I was right there when he gave her a key and she took the price of the doorknob out of the rent (he replaced the front doorknob at one point because the old one kept jamming up). He said he would get a copy of the key made and give it to her later that evening and instead, she demanded that I give her my key then go get a copy made for me. So my question is, what happened to the key he gave her? She has her [keywords coming up] convicted felon grandson living in her house, the other half of our duplex, and she can't find our house key?! Niiice! Every time I think about it it just pisses me off more! Just because she owns the place, it doesn't mean she can come and go as she pleases, especially since we had someone out at the house the night before and he told us exactly what was wrong (the same thing her power guy concluded) and it had nothing to do with the inside of the house. That would be like leasing a car from a dealership and then them deciding they want to borrow it for the weekend because technically they still own it. (Well, I guess technically "technically", the bank owns it, but still... you get the idea of what I'm going for here, even if it is a little exaggerated.) It's bullshit! I am soooo angry right now. How did I forget about this for almost a week?! Oh, and speaking of one week, that shit still isn't fixed (the first power guy jimmied it to make it work temporarily). Dammit, I am so mad I don't even know how to end this post (I'm considering a long string of profanities). Nah, I'll skip the profanities and just end it with GGRRRRR!!

What A Shitty Deal!

2005-09-13T17:24:00.000-04:00

I just got off the phone with The Boyfriend and I am totally pissed. Not at him, but at his stupid ass employer. Ok, the other day they told the guys that they had to work a double today because there was a night job scheduled for tonight and if they didn't work during the day, "technically" they would miss a day of work. So The Boyfriend figured he would be home around 11:30pm tonight (he leaves at 6:20am). Apparently when this company says "double shift", what they really mean is "24 hours". So this means that he won't be home until around 7:30 tomorrow morning. THEN he has to be back at work at 7:00 tomorrow night for the second night shift and because the days would be messed up because of the night shifts, they'll probably have to work another 24 hour shift into Thursday. That's 48 hours of work in 2 and 1/2 days. It's a paving company! They're dealing with asphalt. I think it's about 400 degrees (I could be way off). Plus, the temperature has been back in the upper 80's the past couple of days. Today's forecast was sunny and 88 degrees. Tomorrow it will be in the 80's with PM thunderstorms. Thankfully it's only supposed to be around 75 degrees on Thursday. Ooooh, I am so pissed at these sadistic construction supervisors! Have these people ever heard of heat exhaustion? Or actually, just plain old exhaustion, period? A little heat stroke with a side order of dehydration maybe? Stupid fuckers. *GLARE* ihatethem!ihatethem!ihatethem!

*For the record, I'm not flopping around on the floor, kicking my legs and pounding my fists (............ yet).

I'm Too Sexy For My Hair

2005-09-13T06:44:00.000-04:00

**I wrote this yesterday, but Blogger was being uncooperative**

I must be crazy. When I woke up this morning, my hair was down to the middle of my back. And now? It's not even touching my shoulders. Yeah, I went in for a trim and decided to chop it all off (not very good planning on my part, considering winter is on it's way). Anyway, so I browsed the book in the salon, pointed to a picture and the girl started snipping. After about 2 cuts, I almost started crying but then I mentally bitch slapped myself and told me to quit being such a superficial douchebag. It's just hair. If I totally, completely, utterly hate it, I can always get extensions. Besides, what if I loved it? And after sitting through watching 2 years worth of hair get sheared of my head, well... I love it. I actually almost look my age now. Almost. That was actually the deciding factor. I asked her if cutting it short would make me look older and she said that generally, the shorter it is, the older you look. I guess I'll have to get a buzz cut if I want to get past the whole "I'm actually 25... no, really... I assure you, I am 25, do you wanna see my ID?" look. It's even possible that I could now get into a bar without the bouncer looking at me, then my ID, then back at me, then back at my ID, while trying to determine if it's fake. Not that I really give a crap since I don't drink and the only reason I ever go to bars is to be the DD (...um, that's designated driver, not drunk driver). But I'm excited for my daughter to get home from school and especially The Boyfriend to get home from work (he liked when my hair was short before). Hooray for looking like a grown up!

This Should Piss You Off

2005-09-07T17:02:00.000-04:00

I love the compassion that the Bush family is showing for all the hurricane victims. No really, they're just great. So caring and understanding and ready to lend a hand where ever they can. Oh, and by the way, that was sarcasm.

Commenting on the facilities that have been set up for the evacuees -- cots crammed side-by-side in a huge stadium where the lights never go out and the sound of sobbing children never completely ceases -- former First Lady Barbara Bush concluded that the poor people of New Orleans had lucked out.

Oh yes, the people who lost everything they have worked so hard for all their lives are lucky! Read on...

"Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them," Mrs. Bush told American Public Media's "Marketplace" program, before returning to her multi-million dollar Houston home.

On the tape of the interview, Mrs. Bush chuckles audibly as she observes just how great things are going for families that are separated from loved ones, people who have been forced to abandon their homes and the only community where they have ever lived, and parents who are explaining to children that their pets, their toys and in some cases their friends may be lost forever. Perhaps the former first lady was amusing herself with the notion that evacuees without bread could eat cake.

Wait, they're going to get cake?! Those lucky bastards! Those lucky, lucky homeless, miserable, scared, tired, lonely people!

And now, the very best (and only respectable) part of this article...

... Republican lawmakers were giving the federal government an "F" for its response to the crisis ...

Finally! Some honesty! It's about damn time. And it only took... what, 9 years for them to realize that The Family That Would Not Leave Washington is full of idiots and assholes. Nice. Of course, while they (Republican lawmakers) were doing that, Mr. President and FEMA chief, Michael Brown, were (OF COURSE) raving about how wonderful a job they were doing to help. Love it! I guess it turns out that denial is the best policy. And all this time I thought it was honesty.

Anyway, like the article says, Like Mother, Like Son.

Hey, Mr. Sandman! Get Your Lazy Ass Over Here!

2005-08-30T09:44:00.000-04:00

I.Am.So.Tired. For some reason, I could not fall asleep last night (this is starting to become a habit). I laid in bed for a couple hours, first reading, then just closing my eyes and trying to force sleep to happen. It didn't work. So I did the very worst possible thing. I went downstairs and turned on the tv. And Coming To America was just starting, and I'll be damned if I can pass up an Eddie Murphy movie... even if it is the middle of the damn night (I finally realized why there is nothing good on t.v. during the day - they save it all for the people who can't sleep). I tried, I mean really tried to stop watching, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Besides, even though I was exhausted, I was WIDE awake. Sounds impossible but trust me, it's not. Anyway, so I was glancing at the clock roughly every 2 minutes, watching it creep closer and closer to 6:00am. Finally around 4:00am I fell asleep. So, I'm going on 2 hours of sleep. And not even 2 uninterrupted hours of sleep. I've mentioned my kitten. And I've mentioned how much he loves to stalk and headbutt me. What I haven't mentioned is how laying down just makes me seem more inviting. I'm practically screaming, "Please Pounce On My Head And Walk On My Back While I'm Trying To Sleep!". *glare* Douchebag cat. So I'm tired and cranky and hungry and dammit, I'm cold. Today is going to be so pleasant. It's only 9:30am and I'm already bitching.

Hey, I Know You!

2005-08-29T08:05:00.000-04:00

On Friday afternoon The Kid came home from school freaking out about her "new best friend" and "can she come over some time if her mom says it's ok?". Well, it turns out that this little girl rides her bus (she didn't ride the bus the first week of school). And it just so happens that I already know this little girl... and her mom. It's the same little girl that was accidentally dropped off at my house at the beginning of last year. She's very sweet - of course, I only got to know her for about 15 minutes and she was probably too terrified to be anything but silent except when she was telling me her phone number. Anyway, she only lives about four houses down and I'm pretty sure she's an only child so that gives her and my kiddo something in common (of course, that could also mean that eventually there will be no way they can be friends because they're both used to getting what they want - then again, they could fill in for each other where siblings would normally fit). Anyway, so that makes 2 girls within a five house radius that are about my daughter's age. This is good. She's getting to the age where she will be meeting other children on her own and they'll be wanting to go to each other's houses and, in my opinion, the closer they live the better. It just makes me feel a little less nervous about letting her out of my sight or more than 2 seconds. I don't know how my parents kept their sanity when I was her age. I was always running around with the neighbor kids. Then again, it was the 80's. How do other parents not go crazy with worry every time their kids want to go to other people's houses these days? Is there some special trick to it? Anyway, she seems to be adjusting to all day classes in 1st grade just fine and making friends left an right. She's happy, I'm happy. Yes, happy happy happy. I'm not panicking. Really, I'm not.

Now I Remember Why I Didn't Like Cats

2005-08-26T07:46:00.000-04:00

For the past few days I've had my suspicions that one or both of the cats have been using my very large plant as a litter box. I now have proof. Cats are supposed to bury their stuff, right? Well, looks like somebody got lazy because there it is, right in plain view. Ok, I understand that dirt kind of, sort of looks like litter but what the hell makes them think that I would keep a box of shit in the livingroom?! Because I'm a nice person and I'm just trying to make their bathroom experience a little more convenient? You would think that repeated squirtings with the water bottle would deter them from going near the damn thing, but nooooo. Aside from digging a moat, I can't really think of anything that would change their minds about pooping in my plant. Stupid, stupid, stupid cats. I've come to the conclusion that if I ever get another pet, it will be a dog. Or better yet, a bunny. At least you won't step in a bunny's ... um ... present.

Back To School

2005-08-25T07:41:00.000-04:00

I just sent my baby off to her first day of big kid school. A whoooole day of school instead of just the 2 hours that she had for kindergarten last year. And let me tell you, I didn't sleep for crap last night. I went to bed around 11:00pm and laid there, wide awake, until at least midnight. Then every time I started to doze off, I bolted awake, totally uncomfortable and had to flop around and try to doze off again. Finally I fell asleep ... and woke up at 3:00am, 3:34am, 5:27am then finally at 6:00am the second the alarm went off. I don't know why it stresses me out so much but every time my schedule changes (like when she starts school, or I start a new job, or even if I have an appointment or something) I cannot sleep! The night before is total hell. She, on the other hand, went to bed at 9:00pm, closed her eyes and stayed that way that until I woke her up at 6:25am, when she promptly exclaimed, "I have to get up ALREADY?! I hate school!". Then she remembered that she wanted to go to school and hopped up and got ready in about 2.3 seconds. She was so excited. I hope she continues to like school for at least a few more years... like, this year + 11... + 4.

...Hey, a mother can dream.

A Little Lesson In The Form Of A Joke

2005-08-18T09:38:00.000-04:00

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"When I was born I was black, "
"When I grew up I was black, "
"When I'm sick I'm black, "
"When I go in the sun I'm black, "
"When I'm cold I'm black, "
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."

"When you're born you're pink, "
"When you grow up you're white, "
"When you're sick, you're green, "
"When you go in the sun you turn red, "
"When you're cold you turn blue, "
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

In Reference To My Last Post

2005-08-17T23:08:00.000-04:00

I must say, 24 hours after the What-The-Hell-Have-I-Done? feeling, I am completely loving my hair. I just started straightening it with a flat iron and I noticed that a) it has toned down into the exact shade I was aiming for and b) there was a reason why it was called "Chocolate Caramel Medium Golden Mahogany Brown". You can see every single color listed on that box. (I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to the box for calling it a liar last night.) I took my hair and twisted it lightly and you could clearly see blond which turned to red which turned to brown, depending on which way the light was hitting it. Woo! Ok, now that you know I'm happy with my hair, you can get of the edge of your seats and go back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Stupid Box! You Lied To Me!

2005-08-17T01:11:00.000-04:00

Wow. I'm a little speechless right now. I dyed my hair for the first time in about 3 years and it's dry enough to see what it really looks like. Let's just say, it's not what I expected. I was going for a dark, rich brown (from naturally [ugly] light brown), so I figured that when I picked out something called "Chocolate Caramel" and subtitled "Medium Golden Mahogany Brown" I was all set. In fact, "Mahogany" was the exact color I had in mind when I decided to peruse the hair dyes. Well this particular dye has just the tiniest hint of red in it and is the perfect color... ON THE BOX! In reality it looks like I dunked my head in a vat of krazy glue and carefully applied very shiny rust to my head. I'm hoping it will tone down a little after a couple of washings because really... Bozo The Clown would be envious. It's only hair and it's not a huge deal, but wowza (I'm still in transformation shock). Really, really ... um... coppery is not what I was hoping for. None of the sample colors on the box even remotely resemble what I see in the mirror. I've had red hair before (that time on purpose) and I didn't like it because it made my pasty white face look even more sickly. The living dead look just isn't good for me. I don't know what it is about red, it just looks bad on me. Or more specifically, on my head. Oh well. I guess I'll have to wait it out and see if my hair looks a little less...um... on fire in a couple of days. And if not, you know, I can just keep dying it until I either find the right color or fry my hair completely and go bald. Which ever comes first.

I SO Need A Break!

2005-08-15T15:14:00.000-04:00

I am so irritated! I have been "knitting" THIS hoodie for the past hour and a half. Do you know how far I've gotten? I've gotten about 3 rows into it 6 different times and had to tear it out and start over. First I was confused on how to follow the chart. Row one you follow right to left, then row two you follow left to right and so on. So after knitting a couple rows, I started over the right way. Ok, so it wasn't the right way, because I started purling when I should have been knitting, so the cables were going to come out wrong. Again, I started over. I can't remember what I did wrong the other 3 times, but obviously something, or I would be halfway done with the damn sleeve by now. Anyway, the last time, I miscounted and the cables were, once again, going to come out wrong. ARGH! So not only am I getting my ass kicked by yarn of all things, my new kitten, seriously, is totally up my butt the whole time. Not only do kitties love to play with yarn, but he also likes to smack at the end of my knitting needle as I'm trying to make this damn thing work. But the best part? He's very social and insists on being on my lap... At.All.Times - trying to headbutt my nose. Yeah. And after many attempts on my part to set him aside, he just waits for me to lean forward to check the chart and darts behind my back and makes himself comfy so I can't sit back. So I reposition myself and eventually he makes his way on top of me again. The other day, in another effort to stalk and headbutt me, he jumped from the couch onto my shoulder while I was sitting at the computer desk. My shoulder! Who does that?! Apparently I'm a pirate and he's a parrot? I don't want him to completely go away because, you know, he's oddly social. But maybe, just go far enough away that I can move without first having to move him. Anyway, I'm going to get back to trying to conquer this damn sweater now. Or at least the first 4 rows.

Oh, and for you knitters thinking about making this, the hoodie is labeled "piquant", but it's really not hard. You just have to make sure you're reading the charts right. Or you'll be starting over... and over... and over.

Earth Is Already Ruined, Let's Do Mars Next!

2005-08-11T10:11:00.000-04:00

It is possible that I am completely out of line here, but THIS just pisses me off.

CBS News Correspondent Jerry Bowen reports on a plan to turn the Red Planet into a green one Â one that could support life.

"What we propose is to use greenhouse gases Â the same ones that are currently on the earth causing climate change," said Margarita Marinova, a graduate student at the California Institute of Technology.

That's right. Earthlings are thinking of using the same toxic stuff already blamed for global warming here to put some life back on Mars.

So, let me get this straight... we're supposed to protect our environment on Earth but while we're doing that, scientists are basically destroying Mars so in about 1,000 years they might be able to grow some grass there? Yeah, sounds great.

As Marinova explains it, the devilÂs in the details. And the little devilÂs name is octafluoropropane.

"This is our favorite molecule,Â Marinova said.

Octafluoropropane is a really nasty greenhouse gas that is the by-product of circuit board production on Earth. It is so powerful that in MarsÂ thin atmosphere, it would really pack a punch.

...

It would take hundreds of years but eventually ice sheets would melt, grass would grow here, and temperatures would hit 50 degrees along the equator of the planet. Martian organisms might be revived too Â if there are any.

Ok, so lets pretend for 2 seconds that there is already life on Mars and nobody knows about it (yeah, I'm talking about aliens). What would happen to them if their atmosphere suddenly started filling with toxins? Just because some scientist wanted to play god or whatever. I don't know. It just doesn't seem like a good idea. What if this change in Mars' atmosphere has some effect on Earth? You would think that warming the planet next to us would make it even hotter here. Haven't they been bitching about that for years?! "Ooh, global warming, it's too hot here, you're ruining Earth!" But it's ok if it's their idea to do it on purpose? *glare* What-the-hell-ever. Thoughts?

I Love Kitty Shit

2005-08-08T10:34:00.000-04:00

In reference to my title, I don't really love kitty shit. But apparently according to our new 13 week old kitten, I do. He's all black and his name is Simon. And wouldn't you know, our other cat, who is about a year older and twice Simon's size (she was the runt of her litter), is afraid of him when he hisses. I feel so bad because Lucy (the older cat) is acting like she thinks we're trying to replace her. You call her name and she won't even look at you. Oh my goodness, right now as I type this, my daughter has Simon in her Barbie house all covered up with little pieces of fabric... And the kitten is just laying there like it's totally cool for a boy to be hanging out in a pink and purple house. Anyway, his sister was at the store and she looked exactly like Lucy, only she didn't have a tail. She had a little nub. Oh, anyway, the story of my title. So last night I showed him the litter box a couple times in an attempt to get him to do his thing. Both times he just kind of explored it then went on his merry way. Then later in the evening he started meowing like, "Hey you guys, something is going to happen!". So I grabbed him and hurried to the litter box... just in case. And I was right because as soon as I put him down he let loose... only, a few seconds later I realized that he didn't completely wait until he was in the box. He decided that my shirt and hand made a suitable pooping spot. Do you realize how gross that is?! Ok, so I have a kid and have had worse and far larger amounts of yucky stuff on me but well, nobody likes to be shit on. Especially with that runny-ish, stinky as hell kitten doodie. *gag* So, now that I've grossed you out with specifics...

Have a great day!

The Burning Question Is Finally Answered!

2005-08-03T22:34:00.000-04:00

How excited am I?! I was just checking out My Yahoo and I saw THIS story about a book I MUST get, simply titled - "Why Do Men Have Nipples? - Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini."

"People tend to know so little about their bodies as compared to their cars or their laptops," said Leyner, 49, of Hoboken, New Jersey. "When I worked in a pharmacy in Washington, D.C., people would ask me medical questions all the time. I was just a 22-year-old cashier at Rite Aid."

Chattering teeth is one way the body tries to generate heat.

When the body gets too cold, the area of the brain called the hypothalamus alerts the rest of the body to begin warming up. Shivering, the rapid muscle movement that generates heat, then begins. Teeth chattering represents localized shivering.

During the course of their research, Goldberg and Leyner found reports of gonorrhea, pinworm and roundworm found on toilet seats -- but catching something from it isn't common.

The authors discovered that an office setting might be worse for your health than toilet seats. Charles Gerba, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona, found the typical office desk harbors some 400 times more disease-causing bacteria than the average toilet seat.

Goldberg had compiled a list of nagging questions for several years before embarking on the book after meeting Leyner. The two met while working on a short-lived ABC-TV medical drama, "Wonderland," in which Leyner served as a writer, while Goldberg was its medical advisor.

The book tells you what causes "morning breath", why beans give you gas, why you shouldn't suck the poison out of snake bites, and the question... Why Do Men Have Nipples? (Actually, you just have to read the article to find the answer to that question.) But I am SO looking forward to getting this book. I am one of those "useless information" kind of people. I don't know much about anything other than shit no one really cares about. ... At last, I would have some good (and educational) info to pass around.

Teeth, It's What's For Dinner!

2005-08-02T10:35:00.000-04:00

A Taiwanese man is breathing easier after a surgeon removed a missing set of dentures from one of his bronchial tubes Â three years after he lost them in a fall.

Surgeon Chen Chun-lei said the unidentified man visited his clinic several days ago complaining of shortness of breath and a high fever.

The man had no idea the missing denture was the culprit, causing a mild case of pneumonia.

"He had looked for the missing dentures for three years but they were nowhere to be found," Chen said.

Story HERE

Oh my gosh, I know this sound mean, but I'm doing my very best not to giggle right now. This totally gives new meaning to that threat about knocking someone's teeth down their throat. Anyway, I want to know why this guy, who fell hard enough to knock his falsies into his bronchial tube, never went to the hospital to make sure he didn't suffer some sort of serious injury after the incident. I would imagine he had to either smack his head on the ground, possibly breaking his nose or fracturing his skull, depending on which way he fell, or smack his ass on the ground, possibly injuring his spine or tail bone. I mean, you have to jar yourself pretty bad to involuntarily swallow your teeth. And didn't he have a sore throat or at least feel some sort of discomfort?

...Wonders never cease.