Friday, June 11, 2004
Ew Ew EEEWWW
Well... Joe got his hands on a copy of that Paris Hilton sex tape. So last night we watched it. Dude, Paris Hilton was totally icky. She was more interested in posing for the camera than the guy's wiener. She kept stopping and looking at the camera and making "seductive" faces and stuff. Then she kept saying "Ew" when the guy would say sexually related stuff. Then when she wasn't doing those things, she was just laying there (or sitting there) while the guy's doing all the work. Seriously, she didn't even bother faking she was interested. He's breaking a sweat and she's thinking about what she's going to wear tomorrow. If you haven't seen it, trust me... don't waste your time, you've seen better porn on Animal Planet.
Then after the Paris thing, there was this porn tryout thing. There were, I think, four different girls that wanted to do the porn thing. A couple were ok. One I didn't even bother to watch. But this one girl... oh my god. She was like, worse than REALLY bad amateur porn. She was going down on this guy and she kept making the gag face. The whole time. Then when they were going at it, I mean, AS SOON as they started, she starting squealing. Seriously SQUEALING. And her voice kept getting higher and higher. It wasn't normal like, "Oh yeah, Oh yeah". Oh no. It was like "Oooooooooh Yeeeeeeaaaaaaah OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH" in this piercing, screeching, just plain annoying voice. She also kept making this face that was just horrible. I think she must have thought it was sexy, but really it was like the pornographic version of a blank stare (combined with the gag face from earlier). I kept wondering how the guy (first) was blocking out all that awful shrieking and (second) what the hell he was thinking about so he could keep going.
Blech! If girls are going to be in porn, they should at least be good at it. Wretched girls.
Cost of the War in Iraq
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Don't steal, the government hates competition.
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